Fat Men

"Ottawa Journal," 13 Jul 1871, p1c5

It is a striking fact that most persons want to weigh more than they do, and measure their health by their weight, as if a man were a pig, valuable in proportion to his heaviness. The racer is not fat - a good plough horse has but a moderate amount of flesh. heavy men are not those which contractors employ to build railroads and dig ditches. Thin men the world over are the men for endurance, are the wiry and hardy; thin people live the longest. The truth is, fat is a disease, and as a proof, fat people are never well a day at a a time - are not suited for hard work. Still, there is a medium between as fat as a butter-ball and as thin and juiceless as a fence-rail. For mere looks, moderate rotundity is most desirable; to have enough flesh to cover all angularities. To accomplish this in the shortest time, a man should work but little, sleep a great part of the time, allowing nothing to trouble him, keep always in a joyous, laughing mood, and live chiefly on albuminates, such as boiled cracked wheat, and rye, and oats corn and barley, with sweet milk, and fat meats. Sugar is the best fattener known.

The Truth About it

"Ottawa Journal," 13 Jul 1871, p1c5

Editors are often blamed for saying too much, whereas what they actually do say is but a drop in the bucket of what they are told but do not repeat. Everybody with an ax to grind, or an enemy to disparage, or an animosity to gratify, pours his tale into the learned scribe's ear, with the hope that the same will be published at the editorial risk. If every bit of information that leaks into a newspaper office should be printed, you would see lively times- not the least among the most conspicuous feature of which would be "the head" that ye editor would have "put on him" by the exasperated parties mentioned in some sensational item. For instance, we could a tale unfold whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul, freeze they young blood, and make thy combined waterfall to stand on end like quills upon a fretful porcupine; but it's about a six-footer, weight 200 pounds, (beer measure) worth a very large amount of postal and other kinds of money, too, and so we won't be too hard on him.